Saturday 15 August 2015

Fourth Element Pro Dive Amphibious Shorts – Your Grandad Would Love Them


Fourth Element began their mission to create a range of casual and technical diving clothing in 1999. Since then this company with it’s pro-eco philosophy has taken the diving world by storm. Quite a few people even believe, with good reason, that Fourth Element may soon become the predominant player in the dive clothing market. Not bad for a company that was formed over a few beers in Sharm-El-Sheikh. We like Fourth Element. We’ve bought their t-shirts, hats, rash vests and more and all of these products have never failed to impress so we were rather looking forward to trying out their Pro Dive Amphibious Shorts on our recent trip to the Canary Islands. The company blurb states that the shorts were designed for use in and out of the water. The Amphibious Pro Dive Shorts are ultra quick drying with quick draining mesh lined pockets; cargo and back pockets with hook and loop closure (that means Velcro to the rest of us) as well as a crotch gusset for superior comfort. The shorts got a big plus in the looks department, at least from the men. The women, however, were not that convinced. “A bit wannabe SAS” and “too James Bondish” were just some of the comments. Still, since they weren’t designed for women we ignored the smirks and raised eyebrows from our female brethren and proceeded to put the shorts to the test.

The material is indeed as soft as a bunny rabbit’s tail and on land the pockets do what pockets are meant to do. Meaning you can carry keys, a wallet and whatever else you stuff in your pockets. In the water, the large cargo pocket comes in handy for carrying a spare camera lens or torch, as long as both are small. The material did indeed dry fairly quickly, but not as quick as we imagined. There are a number of other problems too. The shorts we tested were medium size (mainly because the guy who bought them swore blind that he was a medium) which equates to a 32-inch waist and yet, the fit was significantly tighter than was expected. So significant in fact that we had to check his other clothes just to make sure he wasn’t telling fibs about his girth. We checked his jeans; his other shorts and even his underwear (much to his protests) and all clearly indicated that he did indeed have a 32-inch waist. Odd then that the shorts were so tight at the waist. The problems didn’t stop there however. The waist may be tighter than a girdle, but the legs flared out at the bottom to an alarming degree. James Bondish they may look in the marketing pictures, but wearing them in reality, our man looked more like Lofty in It Ain’t Half Hot Mum. When snorkelling, this flaring also led to a significant amount of drag. So what do we have here? The shorts are only available in black, which is a touch unimaginative and you’ll pay around £50 a pair, which is a lot of money for shorts that don’t fit very well. Then there’s the flaring cut of the legs that not only looks rather silly on land but also becomes a significant irritation in the water. It was, our man informed us, like swimming with a sail flapping around your legs.

Of course our man may have fallen foul of the problem of Internet buying and should have gone to a shop to try them on – but who has the time? There is also nothing to suggest that buying a larger size would have meant a better fit. Then there is the issue of flaring, if the medium size makes you look like you’ve got a coat hanger in your pockets, the larger size would no doubt double the “billowing problem”. If you have a waist like a wasp and thighs like a Rhino then these shorts are a perfect buy. For the rest of us however, appearing as if we’re wearing our grandad’s shorts on the beach is not the look we want for £50. So we hope that Fourth Element get their fingers out and do something about it – better sizing, better cut and more choice of colours please chaps. 
I like the design Smithers, but they simply aren't baggy enough. Make 'em black and make 'em very baggy d'ya see

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Bang on DSC. I bought a pair of these and they were so baggy I looked like I was wearing a tent! And I do have thighs like a rhino!

The Dangerous Snorkelling Club said...

Presumably you don't have a waist like a wasp though!